Scheduling

Scheduling is probably one of the most important and nerve-racking thing new parents have to do. Normally this activity isn't one that poses a lot of problems, but when you add a kid to the mix things get a little tricky. I remember the first week after we brought our daughter home. My wife was on maternity leave and I took the week off to help her by either getting some food or doing some late-night feedings. That first day I felt completely lost I didn't know what to do and when to do it. I felt like a chicken without its head. We were worried about feedings, naps, diaper changes, and trying to make sure that my wife got some sleep. I was grateful that I was able to take off that first week because I don't know if I would have made it. Now granted this doesn't mean that things went swimmingly during that week but they didn't start off that bad. We worked through the issues one by one. Here are a couple things to keep in mind when you try to "Schedule" your selves. 1) Make a list of the Things that you want to Accomplish - By doing this you will see the items that you want to accomplish. This will help you stay focused on the tasks at hand. 2) Cut the list in 1/2 - What?! I would almost say depending on the size of the list you might even want to cut it down my 3/4. This is were many parents struggle, they don't realize that you are no longer on your time. It's not about making sure that you get through the list or getting things that you want done. It's about the baby. Your child. Your can't rush them to eat or make them take a nap. Babies have their own schedule and whether you like it or not, you have to follow it. 3) Go with the flow - The next thing you do is make sure your schedule is fluid. It's okay to schedule some things in stone (i.e.doctor's visits), but try to keep other things fluid. This way if the baby decides that they want to go down for a nap that you can do something else in the mean time. I remember a day when my daughter has just having a rough day. She was just so fussy and crabby. We tried to put her down for a nap, but that just made matters worse. We changed her diaper, checked her temperature, tried giving her some food, we walked around the house to change the scenery, nothing was working. So I suggested that we take her for a car ride to see if that might soothe her. In order to get things ready we placed her on the playmat and walked over to her room to grab a jacket and when we came back our daughter was asleep. For some reason she found her "spot" on the playmate in the family room. We had planned to go the store to return a couple items of baby clothes and get diapers, but that was now out of the question. So my wife looked over the list and said then while she sleeps we could at least do some laundry and maybe even look through some photos that needed to be mailed out. My daughter woke up 2 hours later and since we had gotten most of the stuff ready to head out to the store we picked her up put on a jacket and went to the store. Keeping the schedule fluid allowed us to find something else to do. It also prevented us from getting "stressed" out. 4) Schedule some time for yourselves - I know this sounds weird, but with a baby your priorities shift. It's no longer about you. You schedule your lives around the kid(s) and your time is pushed to the back. This is why problems happen. I had a friend once tell me that they tried to set aside 15min a day to talk to each other about their day. This allowed them the time to speak to one another about what was going on in their lives. I liked this idea. To be able to come home and sit down and talk with my wife and ask her how her day was sounded really cool. In practice a little harder then imagined. With the evening schedule already pretty packed, that time seemed to usually to come right after we but our daughter to bed and just before we fell asleep. So for us this really didn't work as well. What has worked is to schedule "Date Nights" We try for at least once a month to drop of our daughter at the grandparents and go out to dinner and a movie, other times its quiet times at home where we order in and sit back and relax. Whatever your method is make sure you make some times for yourselves. I find this just as important as time spent with your kid(s) because when your kid(s) grow up and leave the house you want to make sure that the person that has helped you raise these kids is not a stranger. As you can see scheduling can be difficult, but if you work with your partner you can make sure that things get done and that no one stresses out.